So This is Christmas.....And a Happy New Year!

Whew! Holidays are over! Anyone else feeling sad and excited at the same time? This year I realize that I’ve spent way too many holidays being sad, and stressed, and emotional. I’m over it. Done. Finished.  Any of you struggle with taking a few moments to actually be in the moment? Anyone get caught up in sad memories, instead of happy? Or what about those of you who worry so much about pleasing and accommodating others that you lose sight of what really matters? (Here you can insert a picture of me waving my hand wildly in the air, pick me! Pick me!) It's almost as though we spend all year storing up our feelings and emotions, letting the pressure build until we are conveniently surrounded by those who love us most and.....POW! BAM! BANG! 'Tis the season? How about those of you who stress over an extensive Christmas checklist? Cookies –check. Presents – check. Christmas Eve service – check. Christmas lights – check. Drama – check. Tears – check.  Wine – check. Hard liquor – ch….wait, what?

With all that comes of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, so many of us spend time checking tasks off our lists, but what about our emotional lists? Have one of those? Any of you dread the holiday season, or chant “I think I can, I think I can” just to get through it all?  Consider starting 2015 with a fresh start, a new, positive outlook on holiday drama. The good news? You now have 363 days to prepare! ;)

Do it. Make the effort to be with the ones you love, regardless of the drama and the hassle and the chaos. I know, how ironic. I'm promising you a list to help lesson your stress, and then encourage you to dive right in to all of that drama and uncertainty. But it's important. I promise, I do have a point! Jump in with your whole self. Be present. Be aware of what is happening, even if it is boring or too much to handle. Try not to let work or technology or whatever it is distract you. Unplug. (Believe me, Facebook will still be there long after your family isn't. You can catch up later.)  All of this will help you continue the tradition and keep the family alive - and makes great substance for future stories!

Experience the drama. It’s not officially Christmas (or any holiday for that matter) until someone has a meltdown, cries, gets tizzied out, or gets feelings hurt. Christmas is a holly jolly bucket of intense emotion and drama rolled into one – all with the same goal – to love, to be together and enjoy. Fall down so you can look back and learn, laugh, move on. If you don’t experience any of the above at some point, you’re probably doing it wrong. ;)

With that said...

Breathe. Take it all in. Avoid getting caught up in the land of commotion, drama, sadness. You can stop by, hang out a bit, learn from it, but don’t get all involved and stuck there. Breathe. Do some Yoga. Move on. Reset, and keep going. Memories need to be made – more importantly, memories need to be made for your loved ones. Keep that story going, keep that story strong – we only have one draft, make it count.

Speak Up. If your feelings get hurt – say something – give the offending party the opportunity to explain or apologize or channel Taylor Swift and shake it off. Life is too short to be unhappy, much less at Christmas! Don’t let one moment of sensitivity ruin an entire holiday of happy memories.

Laugh. A lot. Be silly. A lot. Dance, sing, laugh, be cheesy, corny, tell a joke or two. Christmas is about fun and chaos and noise and laughter. Lots of laughter. If you can’t do these things because you are with people who judge, find new people. Or do it anyway and let them judge away. Odds are they will judge you regardless of you being still or silly, so get out there and have fun!

Reminisce – about the good that has been, the good that is to come. About the bad that has been and how far you’ve come. About the ugly, and be thankful that there is no more because you decided to… STOP - wait a minute, fill my cup, put some liquor in it, take a sip, write a check – Julio, get the stretch!

Wait – who’s Julio?  That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works! :)

If you find you are struggling with any of these things, play this to get you out of your holiday funk and into an “Uptown Funk”. If this doesn’t make you tap your toes or wiggle your booty, I’m sorry – go find another song that does. Life is too short to be so serious.

 

 

Drop it. Like it's hot. Seriously, leave your emotional baggage far, far away. If you have unresolved issues, resolve them! Christmas and New Year gatherings are about celebrating new birth, celebrating hope and promise for the future. What better time than the holidays to resolve your issues and move forward. (p.s. doing this will also help relieve some of the above for future holiday gatherings, allowing you to spend more time celebrating, and less time stressing. Think happy holiday memories, not ulcers and rolaids.)

Reminisce – again. Remember your holiday memories from when you were a child. Share those with your children, young or old.  Sharing those memories helps you connect with the ones you love, it helps them understand and appreciate who you are, what you like, what you remember. More importantly, it helps keep the Christmas spirit alive. Trust me. All I have left are memories of my mom and dad. The only way I can keep them alive is by sharing stories of them with my kids. And when I share those stories, it makes me feel almost like they are here. Almost. You want to be here, even when you’re not - share those stories so you are. Everyone’s story matters.

Be thankful. Be compassionate. Be respectful. Be thankful of the time you have with loved ones. So much can change in a blink of an eye. We are not in control of our time here, but we can control what we make of that time. Enjoy. Live in Every. Single. Moment. Be in the now. Be compassionate of those who may be struggling or of those who may not have what you have. Be compassionate of those whose stories you don’t know. I’m not talking only about random people you see. I’m talking about those loved ones sitting right next to you on the couch, or in the other room. Everyone has a past, everyone has experiences that shape who he or she is. Be respectful and compassionate of those stories. Acknowledge those memories. Be respectful of other people’s time and effort. Your way is not the only way, your emotions are not the only emotions, your sadness is not the only sadness. Celebrate new traditions, instead of lamenting yours that are not being celebrated. (If you are, in fact, struggling with a lack of attention to your traditions, please see Speak Up and Reminisce – again above.) Traditions are what keep us going, what keep our spirits alive.

Give. Give with your heart, without strings attached. Give without expecting anything in return. Give without condition. Give because you love, regardless of the outcome. Give what other people need, not only what you need, or what you think they need physically, emotionally. We are the product of something much bigger than we know. Give with your WHOLE heart, regardless of the outcome. Give bigger than what you know.  

And above all, the greatest of these is……….

Love. Love Unconditionally. Bottom line, peeps – the holidays, the any days, the ordinary days are about love. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, make sure you have loved. Make sure those around you know that they are loved. By you. Without Condition. Without question. Without fear. Love is an extremely powerful and dangerous emotion. Use it for good. Love with no regrets. Surround yourself with people that make you feel loved.

Will there be drama? Emotion? Sure. But hopefully there will also be resolution, laughter, security, and most importantly, love. Without it, we are all lost.

Life is short. Love fast. Love much. Love always. Y